Defending a Childhood Hero

First of all, I have to first tell you that I recognize that this may seem like a very strange thing to get so up-in-arms about to some people. 

Now, with that out of the way, I am going to go ahead and get all up-in-arms about this Calvin and Hobbes fanfiction.

Many have seen this circulating the internet on social media websites. It was a big thing in July of 2014, but I am sure that it will come back at some point. Social media has a way of doing that. Anyway, I have seen it multiple times, and many people say that it has brought tears to their eyes. I respect those people--they have every right to feel all teary about this sentimental piece of fanfiction. Others say that it "punched [them] right in the feels." I completely agree with these people... but I think the feels that I got punched in are very different than theirs. My feels were very negative. I think the easiest way to some it up is by saying that I felt angry, betrayed, and hurt.

That's right. This little piece of fanfiction actually offended me.

Remember, I know that this may seem like an odd thing to get upset about, but it doesn't change the fact that I really, really am. Upset enough to write a note! Yes, it's a trivial thing in life as a whole... but is it really? Calvin and Hobbes is an incredible comic; it has touched the lives of countless people, and though it stopped being syndicated in 1995, it continues to be eagerly read by even more people. I grew up with these comics, and I adore them. Many others also really like them, but perhaps they have only read a few comics, or maybe all of them once long ago. They know the main character as Calvin and Spaceman Spiff. I, as any other true fanatic, know him by not just those names, but by the following as well: Stupendous Man, Tracer Bullet, Safari Al, and the leader of G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid of Slimy Girls). To put it bluntly, this boy and his stuffed tiger were my heroes growing up, and they continue to be my heroes. People who have posted this fanfiction are obviously also touched by Calvin and Hobbes, and I love that they are. But it kind of bugs me that people that claim to love the comic are so in love with this little story.

Now then. WHY does this tiny piece of fanfiction bother me so very much (besides the fact that it isn't written very well as far as English teaching standards go)? Well, I will tell you in two different minds (because I have issues with being both extremely emotional AS WELL as extremely realistic/detached). 

First, we'll hit the emotional one, since that is what punched me in the first place.


Calvin may be only six years old in these comics, but he loves Hobbes. Yes, there are many children whose stuffed animals are their best friends, but Calvin takes it to a brand new level. Really, Calvin doesn't have any friends but Hobbes. He's constantly bullied for being crazy or silly (when his imagination is really something to be envied) and never plays with anyone else, except for Susie Derkins (and, really, he is usually trying very hard to ignore her). Most children have at least a few friends, or are interested in trying to make friends. All Calvin has is Hobbes, and he seems to be okay with that. I would be, too! Hobbes is an amazing, perfect companion. I have stuffed animals that I loved a lot from my childhood and couldn't bear to throw or give away. Calvin had ONE. So I can definitely buy that he still has Hobbes, and hooray for the author for having Calvin keep Hobbes until his dying day. But where has that tiger been this whole time according to the fanfiction? 

The attic. 

THE ATTIC?!

I have always wanted my own Hobbes.

THIS is what made me reel from the metaphorical (yet strangely very physical) punch in the feels. Calvin would have never put Hobbes in the attic. Ever. Those stuffed animals I have mentioned from my childhood? I didn't have half the bond with them as Calvin did to Hobbes, and I STILL have them. Even though I had stopped seeing them as "real" when I was quite young (so, yes, I can believe that Calvin stopped seeing Hobbes--yay for being realistic in that sense, Mr. Fanfic), I had to apologize to each one as I boxed them up when I left home to go to college. I felt like I was betraying them for putting them in a box, even though I knew that I would be retrieving them as soon as I was done with the transient lifestyle of a college student. And, actually, I took three of my most beloved stuffed animals with me to college. Anyway, if I had to apologize to my stuffed animals even though I knew they were just stuffed animals, how on earth would Calvin be able to put Hobbes in the attic? Answer: he wouldn't. Ever. 

Some may argue that he's a guy and that doesn't happen to guys. To that I call a very loud and vehement "bull crap" (as well as a "let men feel like they can be allowed to be the very sentimental human beings that they actually are, jerk"). My husband has a stuffed flamingo from his childhood that I am not allowed to even touch sitting up on the shelf in our bedroom closet. So I fully believe that Calvin would still have Hobbes in the house in his adult life. However, even if he was "the typical guy" that supposedly exists and felt like he could put his beloved tiger in the attic, his wife, Susie, would have never let him do that. She loved Hobbes as well (especially when he wore a tie) and knew him as Calvin's best friend. Besides, she arguably has her own sentimental tie to the tiger that would prevent her from allowing him to go to the attic.

Calvin and Hobbes are two very important characters to my childhood.

In essence, I believe that Hobbes would have been with Calvin for every part of his life. Hobbes probably would have had a role to play in the wedding of Calvin and Susie (honestly, they probably would have made him the best man for sentimentality's sake), and he probably would have been on display in the home somehow. He would have never gone in the attic. 

Now then. For the other side. 

If we were to look at Calvin's relationship with his stuffed tiger in a realistic way, we would see that this six-year-old takes him literally everywhere he goes (unless it's at school... but, on test days, he has been known to smuggle Hobbes in). They go adventuring together all the time. This stuffed tiger has been through the woods, in the snow, in the mud, smeared along grass (especially if Calvinball is in session), and in countless other places. We know that he does get washed every once in a while (and Calvin waits right next to the machines when this happens), but even that would wear on the tiger. Hobbes would, no doubt, be sewn multiple times and be mended in multiple ways throughout the many more years of Calvin's adventurous childhood. However, being out that much that often would eventually make this tiger unable to be played with any longer. Such is the case with my husband's flamingo. So, in a realistic world, Hobbes would be either hanging out with Calvin and Susie on a shelf or in a display case in the house, or he would have been replaced when Calvin was about nine or ten after being loved to smithereens. 

But my feels won't allow for the latter option. 

SO. 

I feel a whole lot better. 

I can't be the only fanatic who was bothered by this. I may be the only one that felt enough about it to write a rant about it, but I am sure there are others who feel that this fanfiction seriously diminishes the friendship that Calvin and Hobbes have and that the entire comic series is based upon, even though the author probably meant it to pay homage to it. With so many people claiming to love Calvin and Hobbes while thinking this was a touching scene, I suppose I felt that I needed to defend the incredible friendship that I grew up reading about and adoring. 

If you want to enjoy a fun fanfiction, check out Hobbes and Bacon, which was created by the comic behind pantsareoverrated.com. I think this man did an incredible job capturing the possible relationship between Susie and Calvin as well as showing us how Calvin passed on his love for Hobbes to his offspring.